Confessions of an Ex-Vegan

In the naivete of youth, fueled by compassion, guilt and a desire to help change the world… I went vegan at 19 years old. Eight years later and I’m still struggling with the legacy of that fateful decision.

Like many young vegans I propagandized myself online and quickly embodied all the zealotry that tends to accompany a vegan transition, especially at an impressionable age. In fact I was soon convinced that the decision I’d undertaken as purely a moral venture, was also optimal for health. I smugly waited to start feeling amazing as the purported multitude of vegan health benefits flowed unto me.

They never came…

Instead, within six months, my body started to rebel against my new vegan regime. For the first time in my life I experienced acne which erupted suddenly and violently across my back. That was upsetting, but I could hide it at least. It was the digestive issues that followed that were more concerning… I’ll spare you too much information about my trips to the toilet except to say diarrhea was frequent, I had to go multiple times per day and passing blood was a common occurrence.

Despite these unpleasant symptoms, I could mostly ignore them and continue to pretend that nothing was wrong. But the debilitating bouts of bloating that I started to experience could not be ignored. Initially I didn’t know what bloating was and nearly went to the hospital the first time I was struck down by one of these episodes. The painful cramps in my stomach would sometimes be so severe that I’d be unable to stand up straight, or even stand at all… it felt like I was in an Alien movie with one of them about to burst out of my gut.

Curiously around the same time that my bloating attacks started to flare up, I started to just generally feel like dog shit. What began as a fatigue and malaise soon became near-constant exhaustion. And the persistent brain fog and dissociation compounded my misery.

Despite this drastic decline in my quality of life, guess what I did? I persisted with veganism for 4 more years… It wasn’t just because I’m an idiot who ignored these clear cries for help from my body. It’s because I failed to interpret them entirely… I was so indoctrinated that I never even for a moment considered that veganism might be the reason why I felt like shit. Which is a little embarrassingly retrospectively, given that I went vegan and then all this happened, you’d like to think I’d have been a little smarter..

I found every reason not to blame veganism. I tried going gluten free, even though I’d never previously had any issues with gluten. I avoided vegan substitute foods like burgers, and faux meats. I experimented with cutting out caffeine and alcohol, even though I wasn’t a big drinker. Eventually though I reached a turning point and the idea that perhaps veganism might be to blame, began to take root in my mind.. It was yet another trip to the doctor that did it. This time they finally had something to offer me other than an IBS diagnosis and low FODMAP prescription.. Apparently at age 23 I had an underactive thyroid. Despite being a literal zombie for 4 years, it was the diagnosis of a clear medical problem that made me take a long hard look at myself and my choices.

Of course after such a long time, with so much of my identity intertwined with veganism, it wasn’t as simple as just eating meat and that’s that. It took me about a year starting with eggs and working my way up to seafood and then meat. And I was racked with guilt the whole time. I still am a bit, but I’ve also experienced definitively that I can’t thrive on a vegan diet. And truthfully I wouldn’t recommend anyone else try it..

If you’re interested in why I think veganism causes gut issues and what I’ve done to recover from zombie to functional human, please check out my other posts here!

Looking back, I feel a profound sense of regret for the years lost to veganism. But rather than succumb to bitterness, I try to focus on the wisdom and resilience I gained. I have resolved to fully heal my gut and never again martyr my quality of life on the altar of misguided idealism and extremism. Hopefully, my story can help others avoid the same pitfalls.

Cheers,
Remy.

P.S – Some pics

During Veganism

Post-veganism